ReSee Event Recap: Dystopian Dating feat. The Lobster

Dating in Berlin: Where Rom-Com Meets Horror Story

Berlin is a bustling, one-of-a-kind metropolis rife with arts and culture, diversity, and one of the best party scenes on the planet. It’s a progressive haven where many feel they can be their true selves without fear of judgment. The anything-goes, hedonistic counterculture of Berlin couldn’t differ more from the rest of Germany, which is why the capital is such a popular destination for artists, rebels, activists, misfits, and many more.

However, no place is perfect; Berlin is cold, dark, and a little grimy at times. Days of it being a bastion of anticapitalism are long gone, yet somehow the internet quality has remained super shitty. To some, it can feel noisy, chaotic, and cramped. But if you ask enough locals what the most underrated difficulty of living in Berlin is, they’ll tell you how hard it is to make friends and find partners here. Social isolation is definitely a global trend, but I’d be lying if I said that, compared to the places I’ve lived in the US, Berlin didn’t feel like a particularly tough place to break the ice. There’s something about this city that seems to keep us at a greater distance from one another. Perhaps that very same uncompromising individuality, or the ubiquitous access to all forms of debauchery – those special things that make Berlin famous (notorious) – also hinder us when it comes to finding common ground with one another and building meaningful relationships. And when it comes to romantic relationships, many a local will be quick to tell you dating in Berlin is a bona fide dumpster fire.

To be honest, my theory is just that dating sucks everywhere, and it always has. Never in my life have I heard someone say “you know what city’s great for dating? Athens!” or something to that effect. But maybe there is something specific about the bleak, gray winters, or the German appreciation for privacy/minding one’s own business, that makes Berlin “coconuts” (someone who’s hardened on the outside but sweet once you get to know them) a little tougher to crack. But I have no idea; after 6.5 years here, I’m no closer to finding the answers than I am to finding a girlfriend 🥲

Staving off social isolation is actually one of the main reasons I founded ReSee in the first place, and why I believe so strongly in the future of movie theaters. Nowadays, it’s more important than ever to have community spaces we can head to when we’re craving interaction with like-minded people. As AI continues to run rampant and advertisements for cheap digital alternatives to human connectedness pop up all over our feeds, ReSee is intent on building community one movie at a time while also helping cinemas evolve and adapt to a new era of movie watching.

An Unlikely Hero: ReSee Movies x Dystopian Dating

At ReSee, our goal is to help cinemas curate elevated experiences that make movie lovers want to get off the couch. We make it easier for moviegoers to find and plan great events that reflect the communities we live in. So, of course, when designing a concept for Berlin, the tragicomedy that is the local dating scene instantly came to mind.

We knew we wanted to do something with dating that would be a refreshing change of pace and which also allowed our guests to blow off a little steam, laugh at themselves, and have some fun. Thus, the Dystopian Dating concept was born.

Dystopian Dating is a event series where we combine screenings of films that examine the difficulties of modern romance with interactive activities that give our audience members a chance to connect, commiserate, and, hey, maybe even find love.

Maybe. Probably not. But definitely maybe!

What we do guarantee, though, is that by joining our community for Dystopian Dating events, you’ll come face to face with other Berliners who have struggled with the very same challenge of finding new connections in a lonely city.

A No-Brainer Film, and An Audience That Hasn’t Given Up on Love

When choosing a film for the first edition of Dystopian Dating, The Lobster was a no-brainer. This darkest-of-dark comedies about the trials and tribulations of modern romance is one of the only movies that could make Berlin’s dating scene seem downright lovely by comparison.

After the film, we led our audience through matchmaking games in hopes of connecting guests who share similar philosophies on love, sex, relationships, etc…or at very least to find a few people who hadn’t entirely given up on dating yet. Then we gave them prizes! Yay, prizes!

To be completely honest, we weren’t sure what kind of turnout and reactions we’d get for our first event, so to say the least, we were blown away when it ended up being completely sold out! Not only that, guests were willing to stick around until way-too-late-o-clock to discuss the film and participate in our games.

Event Recap: What Went Right

Without tooting our own horn, feedback from the first event was extremely positive; not only was the movie well-received, but many guests shared that pairing the movie with a dating-themed social activity made watching the movie a more enjoyable experience.

“I really loved the choice of the movie and the energy that people brought, it made it all chill and fun”, said one of our guests after the event. Another told us that “having an opportunity to hear other [people] talk about the movie added a cool new layer to it. I had no idea everyone would see it so differently!”

After collecting enough feedback from enthusiastic guests, I wanted to share my educated guess on why the event was a success, as well as discuss how we can build on that success to make future events even better. So if I had to summarize the five most common pieces of positive feedback, I’d say they were the following:

1. The Concept Resonated. Several people told us that, whether they met anyone new or not, it was refreshing to get together on a Friday night and engage in a dialogue about dating.
2. So Did The Movie Choice. I was shocked yet pleasantly surprised that more than half of the audience had never seen The Lobster! Given that Poor Things was such a huge success and the release of Kinds of Kindness, Yorgos Lanthimos‘ latest film, is just around the corner, guests appreciated the chance to see one of his older films in a cinema environment.
3. The Crowd Was Into It. This one warmed my heart the most. Multiple guests told me that the other participants made their experience better, and I’m extremely grateful to everyone that brought positive energy and lighthearted optimism to the Filmrausch. Any fears I had about guests not being willing to participate, or about guests’ demographics (I’d heard stories of how straight men don’t attend dating-themed events) were assuaged in the end. We’ll get into some stats on this later.
4. The Games Were Fun. There are quite a few things I plan to do better next time when it comes to the interactive activity (see the next section), but guests felt the games were a cute and fun way to share their perspectives.
5. The Cinema Was a Perfect Fit. I was also pleasantly surprised to discover that more than half of our audience had never been to The Filmrauschpalast. Needless to say, they were very happy to be introduced to an incredible cinema right in the center of Berlin. From the history and aesthetic of the building itself to the enthusiastic staff who warmly greeted and engaged with guests, several people remarked that the location and the staff were a big part of the night.

Event Recap: What We Can Do Better

Due to some logistical challenges brought on by a scheduling mishap, our event got started later than intended. This led to a domino-effect that had us rushing slightly through our intended program. Despite my tendency to focus more on what went wrong that what went right (why I’m single, perhaps?😅), the fact that so many guests still had positive things to say about it has been a huge encouragement. Needless to say, the ReSee team is feeling the love.

In particular, the delays meant that we didn’t get a chance to address the fact that we would have a videographer capturing footage for the event and to give guests a chance to opt out of being recorded, as we had definitely intended, but I’m glad that our guests felt empowered enough to find me and tell me that they didn’t want to be in our social content. On behalf of ReSee I want to personally apologize for the mixup, and as a result, we will only keep and share footage of audience members who retroactively gave us permission. We’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again!

So five areas where we think we can do better would be:

1. Get Permission to Record. At any future ReSee event where we have a camera crew, we will definitely give guests a chance to opt out while still participating.
2. Give Guests More Time to Mingle. Many guests said that the games took up a bit too much time, and it would have been nicer to have more time to chat with the audience…especially the single ones 😀This was also primarily a result of the late start, but we hear you loud and clear.
3. More Involvement for Paired/Non-Single Guests. Again, something we had plans for, but ran out of time. We want all of our guests to feel included, so we’ve already got plans for this next time!
4. Try out Different Game Formats. Our plan is for each event to have an activity that has been curated specifically for the film and the theme of the event. Whether it’s games, a panel, or a social activity, you can guarantee we’ll be trying out some different things!
5. Create Events for Diverse Groups. This request has been duly noted! Dating sucks for people of all creeds, colors, and orientations, so look out for inclusive events that examine some of the cultural differences in our dating habits.

Event Recap: What We Learned About Our Guests

During the event, we encouraged our audience to answer survey questions about both the film and their dating habits, which we worked into the discussion afterwards. Below are some interesting takeaways from our audience that we wanted to share (n=25)🤓📊

Maybe it’s just because I’m an Excel nerd, but seeing the diversity in the answers was easily one of the coolest parts of the night for me. You can make your own inferences, but for consistency’s sake, here are our five takeaways from the survey:

1. Bring on the Relationships. More than 50% of survey respondents indicated they’re intentionally looking for a serious relationship or a life partner. And zero of our guests chose the available “A consistent hookup/FWB/F+” option.
2. Bring on the Dudes. I was surprised to hear that hetero dating events usually suffer from a lack of single men. Fellas, what are we doing…
3. People Are Over Dating Apps. More than 70% of our single respondents don’t use dating apps frequently. In case any of you are frustrated with the swipe game, you’re clearly not alone.
4. Going Out Alone is Hard. 28% of single respondents indicated they go alone to places like cinemas, museums, and art galleries “all the time”. Kudos to those of you, because it isn’t easy.
5. We Should Keep Talking About The Lobster! Our guests were divided roughly 2-to-1 on one of the film’s biggest open-ended questions! Anyone who wants to discuss theories should feel free to DM us 🙂

What’s Next for Dystopian Dating?

To all of you who have already reached out to ask about the next Dystopian Dating event, we are beyond flattered. Look out for an announcement on that front in early June 😍

What’s Next for ReSee?

While we work on planning the next event, we’ll also be having discussions with other cinemas about cool community-based events in Berlin. So if you have any ideas or suggestions, please get in touch! And keep an eye on our blog and socials for updates in the meantime.

Peace, Love, and Popcorn, ☮️ ❤️ 🍿

–Ty